by Sarah Whitehead
Neurodiversity Lead | Northamptonshire Police
As part of Neurodiversity Celebration Week, I would like to focus on and draw attention to the taboo subject of child-to-parent violence and abuse (CPVA) and the link to neurodivergent dysregulation.
CPVA encompasses a broad range of behaviours that young people under the age of 18 years old display towards their parents and/or caregivers. This behaviour may continue into adulthood.
It is important to distinguish between behaviours that are a direct result of the nervous system overload and that of intentional violence and coercive control.
The invisible load of parenting a neurodivergent child is real and can be extremely stressful. Neurodiversity rarely exists in isolation, and consequently many employees up and down the country are doing their best to navigate employment whilst managing inadequate school systems, healthcare pathways and being advocates for children and/or relatives, often alongside their own neurodivergent profiles; and with little to no external support.
The ‘family load’ fluctuates. Some weeks it is manageable; other weeks it is overwhelming. Traditional workplace models struggle with this reality, particularly when children are older and ‘should be trusted to be able to stay home alone by now’. Negative stereotypes are not at all helpful. Being called into school or to home at the last minute, or attending appointments that have taken two years to arrive is commonplace when parenting neurodivergent children. It is both overwhelming and exhausting, yet the world still turns, and the bills still need paying. Advocacy does not stop when a child turns 18 years old.
Neurodivergent children show a higher prevalence of CPVA, and often conflict arises where adults struggle to distinguish whether violent episodes are directly related to a nervous system overload, mental health challenges, or ‘typical’ teenage behaviour.
Research from King’s College London (2025) on 735 adolescents found:
- Autistic and ADHD adolescents experienced twice the emotional burden from common school stressors compared to neurotypical peers.
- They reported more intense emotional reactions and higher frequency of distressing events.
- Emotional burden was directly linked to dysregulation, which can drive escalated behaviours at home, including aggression.
Although not exclusively neurodivergent statistics, these figures contextualise the scale of CPVA where neurodivergence is frequently cited by families as a factor:
- 40% of families affected by CPVA do not report it, according to research by London’s Violence Reduction Unit
- In police domestic abuse incidents, involving suspects under 18 years of age, 64-67% involved CPVA
- Youth offending caseloads show a 21-27% prevalence of CPVA
According to the Michael Sieff Foundation (2025) review:
- 80% of cautioned or sentenced children in youth justice have special educational needs and disabilities (SEND) and/or neurodivergence
- Neurodivergent children enter custody earlier, are more frequently excluded, and receive longer sentences
- Professionals report significant challenges managing behaviour linked to communication difficulties, emotional dysregulation, and unmet neurodevelopment needs
A 2025 Healthwatch Central Bedfordshire focus group found:
- Amongst parents experiencing CPVA, over half were caring for neurodivergent children (autism / ADHD).
- Families described patterns of meltdowns, shutdowns, and distress behaviours escalating into violence.
Neurodiversity Support UK reports that conditions such as ADHD, autism and pathological demand avoidance (PDA) frequently involve:
- Rapid emotional escalation
- Intense reactions
- Loss of behavioural control when overwhelmed
Employers who design predictable flexibility, rather than ad hoc exceptions are better placed to retain skilled staff and prevent their burnout. Employers who understand the connection between neurodivergent conditions and CPVA make life much more manageable for those parents trying to navigate difficulties.
We have put together an A-Z guide which details elements of CPVA, alongside some practical support tips for parents and for operational staff who may happen across incidents involving members of the public.
More information on CPVA and links to external support services can be found on the following websites:
This blog was originally published on the Northamptonshire Police intranet – it is reproduced here with kind permission of the author